


Two For The Price Of One

by Agent3Novi



Category: A Hat in Time (Video Game)
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, Double Hat Kids :), Gen, Hat Kid needs a hug, Memory Loss, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Self-Indulgent, Time Loop, Time Travel, Why Did I Write This?, also setup for why I call my Switch HK "Hat Link"/"Link Kid"-, everyone is confused, in the same room, look it's basicaly my PC Hat Kid and Switch Hat Kid but like, oh look a reference
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2020-03-22
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:35:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21928318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Agent3Novi/pseuds/Agent3Novi
Summary: “... this was not supposed to happen.”“No peck.” he double snarked.The two Hat Kids stared each other down, both reeling and maybe internally panicking a little.Now, Hat Kid, being part of an alien race that had integrated immensely powerful time-bending (and occasionally time-breaking) devices into pretty much every facet of daily life [...] meant that she was very well versed in the list of Situations Where Stuff Goes Wrong.Meeting yourself was very high up on the list of Bad Situations That Might Just Break The Universe.Hence the panic.---((Or wherein Hat Kid lands on a strange planet, only to find herself already there. Shenanigans ensue))
Relationships: Hat Kid & Hat Kid, Hat Kid & Mustache Girl (A Hat in Time), Hat Kid (A Hat in Time) & Everyone, I promise that it makes sense in context
Comments: 12
Kudos: 55





	1. The Universe Almost Snaps In Half

**Author's Note:**

> This is VERY self indulgent, I hope you enjoy it as much as I do :)
> 
> (Also note: if someone says "20XX" they aren't literally saying the Xs, I just didn't want to specify the year this takes place in)

“... this was  _ not _ supposed to happen.”

“No peck.” he double snarked.

The two Hat Kids stared each other down, both reeling and  _ maybe internally panicking a little _ .

This… oh man,  _ this situation _ .

Now, Hat Kid, being part of an alien race that had integrated immensely powerful time-bending (and occasionally time- _ breaking _ ) devices into pretty much every facet of daily life, and  _ especially _ into the ships which she just so  _ happened _ to be a pilot of, meant that she was very well versed in the list of Situations Where Stuff Goes Wrong. 

Meeting yourself was  _ very high up _ on the list of Bad Situations That Might Just Break The Universe. 

Hence the panic.

The Hat Kid wearing the hood was the first to recover, “When are you?”

That question would probably be confusing to the average person, but remember,  _ Time Traveling Aliens _ .

“Uh, 20XX?” the top-hatted Hat Kid’s confusion and some still lingering panic bled into her voice, making it a lot higher and stuttery than normal.

Hooded Hat Kid cursed under her breath, “I’ve been through peck-knows how many 20XXs-”

“Wh-  _ what? _ ”

“I’ll tell you later, what  _ just _ happened to land you  _ here? _ ”

She gestured around at the small and shady alleyway, overlooking a mural, quaint island town, and a lot of garbage piles.

Hatted Hat Kid thought for a moment, “I was taking a pit stop in orbit, y’know, on my way home…”

She paused at the weird look her double was giving her.

“... what?”

“You okay there?”

Said double blinked in confusion, abruptly realized, and then tried to cover up the ensuing flood of embarrassing emotions with annoyance, “ _ Of course I am! _ Go on! We don’t have all day!”

“Er, okay… well I took a moment to check the flight progress and fuel, and then someone started pounding on the door!” she shuddered, “They were big and really intimidating and-”

“Would they happen to have been wearing a blue striped suit and demanding that you pay a _ ‘toll’ _ in Mafia Town?” Hooded Kid asked, with the sort of tone that implied that she already knew  _ exactly _ what the answer was going to be.

Hatted Kid nodded dazedly, “Y-yeah…  _ how’d you- _ ”

Any further questions were very abruptly and violently interrupted by the  _ Whud _ s of two very similar men getting bodily chucked off a roof and into the alleyway and landing in a heap. Hatted Kid jumped in surprise while Hooded Kid didn’t even flinch, not even when a girl in a red cape and hood jumped off the roof, onto the two bodies, and struck a heroic pose.

What did startle the Hooded (and probably  _ Future _ ) Hat Kid was when said girl turned to them and pointed a finger at the two of them, “ _ Hood!  _ Where the peck have  _ you _ been?! And who’s this loser?”

Hatted Kid made a mildly offended noise. 

Hooded Kid- or just  _ Hood _ , frowned in confusion for a moment before quickly quashing it down and replacing it with her usual  ~~mask~~ expression of a snarky-but-well-meaning smile, “Oh this is…  _ Hattie… _ ” she glanced over to her double, who gave a subtle nod, “and I’ve been helping her with gettin’ her stuff back from the Mafia.”

The girl nodded and hopped down to them, “Guess I can’t get  _ too _ mad at you, then. Anything to get back at the Mafia is a good cause.”

Now that they were closer, Hattie could see that the girl had a mustache. She wasn’t sure why that of all details stuck out to her, but it did. 

The girl struck another heroic pose, “Welp! I’m Mu. I presume you’re joining our little rebellion then?”

Hattie squaked, “What?!  _ I never signed up for that- _ ”

Hood laughed and pushed her forward a little, “ _ Pssh _ , c’mon, it’ll be fun!”

She sighed in defeat, “Fine… I guess…”

Mu and Hood high-fived, “Awesome! I suppose now we should go find your stuff, right?”

Hattie nodded.

“Cool… what is it?” 

“Oh, it’s- um-”

Hood butted in, as she knew very well the difficulty of properly explaining a Time Piece to someone who’d never heard of one before, “It’s like that thing that crashed into the fountain earlier, remember?”

Mu snapped her fingers, “Ohhhh yeah, that weird hourglass-lookin’-thingy,” she turned to Hattie, “Whaddya say we take you over to grab it?”

She nodded a little nervously, “If you’re sure that it’s not a problem…”

Hattie let out a little  _ Ack! _ as Mu slung an arm around her, “‘Course not!”

Hood joined in from the other side, “Yeah! We’re friends now right? Friends do that for each other!”

“Wait,  _ what?! _ ”


	2. Oh Look, Character Bonding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be half a chapter but eh it works better on its own-
> 
> Also it's 85% character development, 10% exposition, and 5% set ups, just warning ya

With a tap of the screen, the lights of the main room and the kitchen flickered on. Hattie did a little dance before heading down to the lower area, where Hood was currently examining some of her Game Dodecahedron discs. 

“Do I have more than you?” 

Hood jumped in surprise, then sighed and glared at her, “...  _ yes _ , actually,” she held up the disc she was holding and Hattie leaned over so she could get a better look at it, “What’s this game?”

Hattie gasped and then quickly but oh-so gently snatched it out of her double’s hand, “ _ why it’s only my favorite game of all time! _ Have you  _ seriously _ never heard of  _ the Legend of Zelda?! _ ”

Hood stared at Hattie like she’d grown a second head, “... No? I thought our favorite game was  _ Corgi Quest?? _ ”

Hattie sighed, patted Hood on the shoulder, and said in a mock-serious tone, “ _ My dear future self, oh do I have much to teach you. _ ”

“Okay but,” Hood continued as Hattie started to set up the game, “ _ seriously _ . What happened to Corgi Quest???”

Hattie glanced back at her as she clicked the console lid shut, “Don’t get me wrong, I still  _ love _ Corgi Quest, but LOZ’s just kinda been my Thing for the past year or so.”

“ _ Ah _ , understandable… but then can you still call it your  _ ‘favorite of all time’ _ ?” Hood commented with a smirk.

Hattie smacked her arm, “ _ shaddup _ ,” then tugged her down to the second floor pillow, “Now the lore’s kinda wonky since they didn’t have a solid timeline to connect the series before the latest game, but basically there was this BIG war between some gods way back when that ended with this island getting put in the sky…”

“... and so basically, now he has to purify all of the Divine Beasts, and then once that’s done go kill that raging god of death and evil that’s being held in the castle! Any questions?”

“... well that’s definitely one hell of a story.”

“Isn’t it cool though?!” 

“ _ Hm… _ yeah… Corgi Quest still has better characters, though.”

“Yeah but LOZ’s plot is  _ way _ better.”

In the time it took for Hattie to explain ( _ or more accurately go on a very long-and-filled-with-headcanons-and-theories rant about _ ) everything that a newcomer needed to know about the series, they had finished an in-game dungeon, five sidequests, gave up on the boss fight, punished some cookies in the microwave, ate said cookies, and were now sitting back in front of the TV just watching the tittle-screen play.

The conversation had lapsed into silence. Neither Hat Kid could decide whether to call it awkward or companionable.

At least the music was nice.

“... do you want a better name?”

Hattie glanced over to her, “What?”

Hood sighed and shook her head, “I told Mu you were  _ ‘Hattie’ _ , but that was just cause I couldn’t think of anything better in time.”

Hattie made an “ _ ah _ ” of realisation, then shrugged, “I don’t mind it, but why not have just given her my-  _ our?- _ real name?”

Hood laughed, but it wasn’t all happy, “I’ve tried… _ so many times… _ no one can pronounce it.”

Hattie frowned, “... in one loop?”

Hood sighed and leaned back, “... in  _ every _ loop.”

Hattie patted her tired twin’s hand, “So I was right in guessing that there’s a time loop going on?”

She rocked back forward and ducked her head, “yeah…”

“For how long?”

“I stopped counting at twenty five…”

“...”

Now that Hattie was looking for it, she could see just how…  _ tired _ Hood looked. And now that she thought about it, her double hadn’t been the least bit surprised when two men and a child came flying into the alleyway, she had looked maybe even a bit… bored? Resigned? Hat Kid wasn’t the best with words. Hood had only seemed surprised when Hattie had shown up, and then when Mu… called her out…

Hood abruptly stood up and stretched, “Well that’s enough of that!” she said in a cheerful tone, then glanced down at her imaginary-watch, “If I’ve been keeping track right, then Mu should be getting in a fight with some Mafia Goons-”

“ _ What?! _ ”

“-and we should probably go and help. Whaddya say, past-slash-future-me?”

Hattie sighed then stood up as well, “I guess,”

Hood gave her a pat on the back, “That’s the spirit!”


	3. Dinner and Spoilers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed right after the barrel battle but nah have more character bonding and spoilers-

If you were to ask Hattie how the fight went, she would have said well if not a little scarily.

If you were to ask Hood, she would have said boring as  _ peck _ .

The far more experienced Hat Kid had all but memorized their attack patterns and how to easily dodge them (not that they were very confusing in the first place, but still). What was mildly frustrating was the fact that her less experienced counterpart kept freezing up or jumping the wrong way and had to be  _ constantly _ pulled out of harm's way.

Well at least it was something new.

That had been an hour ago. Now the three girls were taking a break on Hattie’s ship, Mu cleaning up in the Conference Room and the Hat Kids making dinner in the kitchen. 

“ _ Uuuuuuuggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh, _ I forgot how bad this was before CC gets here,” Hood grumbled as she sorted through the pantry and refrigerator. All of their food was either expired, gross, or made into an adorable little pasta monster that they were  _ not _ allowed to eat under  _ any _ conditions.

Hattie glanced up from washing the dishes, “I’m assuming that’s someone I’ll meet later?”

“Yep,” Hood answered simply. She was digging pretty deep into the fridge now, not a good sign.

“Y’know,” Hattie resumed scrubbing the plates, “You’re being pretty lax with giving me spoilers…”

Hood snorted, “eh screw _the_ _Rules_ , I’m pretty sure any timeline peckery that could happen already- OH SICK!” She leaned back and excitedly waved a pack of bacon around, “WE GOT BACON! _AND_ IT’S NOT EXPIRED!!”

Hattie placed the second clean plate on the counter to dry, “Bacon, toast, and  _ Corgi Quest The Movie _ then?”

Hood was already grabbing the bread, “Hell yeah.”

One perk of meeting your past/future self was that agreement was (usually) not a hard thing to come by.

Both Hat Kids glanced up as the door to the kitchen swung open. “Okay I finished cleaning the-”

Mu took a grand,  _ sweeping _ take of the kitchen and all it’s nasty glory, then promptly said, “Hattie your kitchen is  _ disgusting _ .”

“We know” the twins sighed.

“Like seriously,” Mu cautiously stepped in, tip-toe-ing around the questionable stains on the floor, “this is a health hazard.”

“Mm, not as much as the Mafia’s cooking is-” Hood mumbled as she stuck a few pieces of toast into the toaster.

“True,” Mu conceded.

“Hey,” Hattie interrupted, “could you cook the bacon please, Mu? I would do it but…”

“We have many skills, cooking is not one of them,” Hood deadpanned. 

Mu sighed as she took a clean pan off of the counter and set it on the stove, “Well then, make it a skill of yours! Being able to cook on your own is  _ very _ important.”

“We know,” the two chorused again.

Post movie-and-dinner everyone had crashed in Hattie’s bedroom. The power may have been out but they managed to scavenge some candles from storage and burying oneself in the pillow pile provided enough warmth to not freeze to death so, whatever.

Mu was out cold, Hood was so quiet that she probably was too, and Hattie was writing in her diary. 

_ So… I am stranded. A big guy in a chef’s apron and a suit knocked on my door, and decided to mess everything up. THEN I’m pretty sure the timeline broke because I was already there? Like, another me?? Who’s been stranded on this planet for who knows how long now??? And then I joined a “Rebel Squad” with this new girl Mu and we got in a fight and there were soooo many barrels flying around? _

_ Why couldn’t I have gotten stranded near a normal planet? _

...

Hood abruptly broke the silence, “His guts are purple”

“Excuse me  _ what??? _ ” Hattie turned to her incredulously.

Hood shrugged and grinned, “The Mafia Boss, his guts are purple.”

Hattie closed her diary with a confused squeak, “How the  _ frig _ do you know that his guts are  _ PURPLE _ ???”

Hood just grinned wider.

“... Oh my god… Mu was serious about that.” Hattie stared off into the middle distance, remembering the very, erm,  _ graphic _ plan that Mu had detailed earlier in the day.

Hood chuckled and crossed her arms behind her head, “ _ Will _ be, but yeah.”

Hattie’s expression at that moment was the perfect representation of someone who is  _ way _ in over their head. Which she was just now realising that she was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "So… I am stranded. A big guy in a chef’s apron and a suit knocked on my door, and decided to mess everything up." and "Why couldn’t I have gotten stranded near a normal planet?" in HK's diary were taken directly from the game, just FYI

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed, please comment/kudos! It really helps my motivation! :D


End file.
